This month’s question comes from Colin:
Hi Kate,
I’ve been a subscriber for a couple of years now and you often mention how stress can make our perspective more negative. I recognise this in myself, but when I’m stressed, even if I can see that I’m doing this, I find it difficult to not believe those more negative thoughts. Is there anything simple I can do that would help me look on the bright side?
My Answer:
Hi Colin,
You’re right, this is something I talk about on a regular basis because I think it’s really important and helpful for people to understand how our thoughts affect our stress levels and then vice versa – how our stress levels affect our thoughts.
Believe it or not, every single negative thought we have sends a message to our body that we’re under some kind of threat and this then creates a spike in stress hormones to some degree. This could be a worry about something external past/present/future, or even a negative thought about ourselves.
It’s sobering when you really think about it … that we’re essentially self-harming by way of our own thoughts…
Then those stressful thoughts, create more stress in the body, which causes the mind to look for more potential threats and view the world through the lens of scarcity, lack and pessimism.
…You can, therefore, hopefully, see how this can create a vicious cycle of chronic stress.
However, the flip side of this, and the good news is that we actually have far more control over our thoughts (and how stressed we feel), than we probably realise if we purposely and consciously reverse-engineer the process.
You can choose your outlook.
You can choose your perspective.
And your overall experience of life is therefore actually your choice.
That is not to say that we will never experience stress – if the past few years have taught us anything, it’s that life throws curve balls – but it’s in how we react to and interpret the curve balls that then determines our overall stress levels and experience of life.
To go back to your original question, Colin, you asked for something simple to help you shift your perspective…
So, I’m sharing one of my all-time favourite quotes – It’s one I often refer to and it helps me get back on track if find myself moving towards more lack-based thinking:
How would you behave (and what would you think about XYZ) if you knew the game of life was rigged in your favour?
I encourage you to remind yourself of this whenever you’re feeling/thinking negatively and see what comes up for you in response.
I also recommend everyone would benefit from giving this question some serious thought and even better take some time to write down your answers thinking about and applying it to every area of your life.
It can be a really powerful tool to help us realise where we’re holding ourselves back, assuming the worst, or coming from a more scarcity-based mindset.
Kate x
