In the previous post, we established that thinking traps are cognitive distortions that lead to flawed or irrational thinking patterns. They very often occur just before and during stressful, distressing situations, because stress skews our lens and perception of events.
If you’d like to read that post first before moving on to this one, you can find it here.
In this post we’re looking at the most common thinking traps people fall into, followed by example questions that you can ask yourself to help challenge or reframe these thoughts so that you can then see things in a more realistic, helpful way:
Catastrophising: Imagining and believing that the worst possible thing will happen.
Ask yourself: Okay, thinking that the worst possible thing will definitely happen isn’t really helpful right now. What’s most likely to happen?
Mountains & Molehills: Similar to the above, this is about exaggerating the risk of danger, or the negatives. People usually minimise the odds of how things are most likely to turn out or minimise the positives.
Ask yourself: Am I exaggerating the bad stuff? How would someone else see this? What’s the bigger picture?
Mental Filter: When we notice only what the filter allows or wants us to notice, and we dismiss anything that doesn’t ‘fit’. Like looking through pessimistic blinkers or ‘gloomy eyeglasses’ (the opposite of ‘rose-tinted glasses), or only focussing on the negative whilst anything more positive or realistic is dismissed.
Ask yourself: Am I only noticing the bad things? Am I filtering out the positives? Am I wearing ‘gloomy eyeglasses’? What would be more realistic?
Emotional reasoning: I feel bad so it must be bad! I feel anxious, so I must be in danger.
Ask yourself: Just because it feels bad, doesn’t necessarily mean it is bad. My feelings are just a reaction to my thoughts – and thoughts are just automatic brain reflexes. If I look at this rationally how bad actually is it?
Mind reading: Assuming we know what others are thinking (usually about us).
Ask yourself: Am I assuming I know what others are thinking? What’s the evidence? These are my own thoughts, not theirs. Is there another, more balanced way of looking at this?
Black & white thinking: Believing that something or someone can only be ALL good or bad, right or wrong, rather than anything in-between or ‘shades of grey’.
Ask yourself: Things aren’t either totally white or totally black – there are shades of grey. Where is this on the spectrum?
What’s so helpful about learning and remembering these unhelpful thinking styles is that once you can identify them, you can start to notice yourself doing them. And then once you can notice them, you can help yourself by distancing yourself from those thoughts with challenging questions such as the ones I’ve given you above. This then allows you to see the situation in a different and more helpful way and you start to feel better. You’re also less likely to react in ways that you might later regret!
When you practice this on a regular basis, it is known as ‘cognitive restructuring’, whereby you can intentionally (re)wire your mind with more balanced thoughts that do not produce stress or anxiety.
In the upcoming post we’ll be looking at more of these pesky thinking traps!
Kate x
And, remember, if you’re struggling with any of these issues I talk about here please reach out and get intouch for a complimentary consultation where we can discuss your situation and how I might be able to help you.
