This month’s question comes from Mia:
Hi Kate, I love the idea of creating and working on big life goals but I feel my life is so busy that I don’t have the time or energy needed to achieve them! I just don’t feel it’s realistic for me.
My answer:
I spoke to Mia to find out more about her situation and it transpired that her life is busy, like many of us, juggling full-time work and parenthood.
She told me that it would feel like a luxury to take the time to pause and think about her desires for her life. One that would be lovely but also “stresses her out” because the thought of then finding time to work on those goals seems impossible and would therefore put too much pressure on her.
… And I know many people feel like this when we start discussing goals.
When I work with private clients on their vision for their future and their goals, we break things down into long-term, medium-term, and short-term goals. These goals are also, always ones that work with the client’s lifestyle. They must be realistic else they won’t be sustainable or achievable!
I am also very careful to make sure we start small and then build on those small, short-term goals once we are progressing. This way we’re not doing too much too soon and the process often feels like not much is happening and then suddenly it feels like a lot has happened all at once – the results kind of creep up on you!
However, it is true that in order to work on goals I may also have to help a client get on top of their stress and manage their time and energy better. Because when we’re chronically stressed, we’re living in a reactive state where we feel less in control. Life will feel like we go from one mini emergency to the next.
But it doesn’t have to be this way … even though, if this is you, it may feel like there’s no other way.
It’s indeed going to be very difficult (pretty much impossible), for someone to work towards big compelling goals in this state … And that’s the point I want to make – it’s a state that can be changed.
Going back to Mia; we had a call and I asked her lots of questions about her current lifestyle and how she functions. Despite her busy lifestyle, there is definitely room for improvement with her time and energy management and in reducing her stress levels. Both are also very much interlinked.
So even though she emailed me initially to show interest in working on her goals, because she realised after last week’s email that she doesn’t have any, we have now decided to work together for a longer duration so that we can start off improving on her time, energy and stress levels and then when those things are in a better place we’ll also start working on her goals.
I’m sharing Mia’s question this week because I know that many people feel like this. I’m not here to try and persuade you that life isn’t very busy for you, but I also know that people can get caught up in patterns, behaviours and ‘states’ that create a vicious cycle. And when you’re there, it’s hard to see the wood from the trees.
As I said in last week’s post, goals ALSO actually serve as a tool and antidote to these common challenges:
- They are a remedy to the stress of modern-day life because the process acts as a focal point that then enables us to direct our time, energy, and resources toward what truly matters to us.
- Human psychology underscores the importance of feeling a sense of progress in life for maintaining good mental health, therefore having, and working towards long-term goals plays a pivotal role in cultivating more of an optimistic (less stressed) outlook on life.
- Goals force us to prioritise and manage our time more effectively because we’ll naturally become more ‘proactive’ and discerning about how we allocate our time and resources.
… As well as improving our confidence, resilience, self-trust, and self-esteem.
Would you like my 121 support to help you get clear on your vision and to then map out your goals for the upcoming year? I have a specific goal-setting process that I take my private clients through, which we can do between 1 – 3 sessions depending on the level of depth we go into. If you’d like to find out more, contact us to book a complimentary call where I can share how the sessions work with no obligation if you decide not to go ahead. December and early January are the perfect time for this process so get intouch if you’d like to find out more! Limited slots available
Kate x
