Spring is definitely here in London; the fresh green leaves are sprouting on the trees and my local park smells amazing because of all the new flowers that have opened up.
As well as spending lots of time in the park, I’ve also made ‘getting out there’ (attending talks, events and networking) a big focus over the past month.
This week I went to a talk where the speaker got the audience talking to each other and one of the things we had to do was share an experience that had ‘turned our world upside down’.
Well I’ve had a number of significant moments in my life like that, but the one that I shared with the lady sitting next to me was when the penny really dropped for me on lack versus abundance mindset.
I’d read about the concept so many times before and I really understood what it was all about. I could see when I was in a negative mindset or positive and the effect that had on me and others…
However, a number of things coincided at one point in time about 5 years ago that led to what felt like a major awakening for me!
I remember sitting there, in my bed surrounded by tissues, with a puffy red face after having been crying all morning – but just completely in awe of what I’d just realized!
Suddenly so many things made sense and certain aspects to my life, going right back to my childhood, fell into place.
What led to this, and the reason I was so upset, was because of a number of seemingly significant things that had happened all around the same time:
I was quite stressed about my business at the time. I’d been working really hard on it, but something hadn’t gone so well, and I felt deflated and I was even starting to wonder if it was all worth it and that perhaps I should just give it all up.
That week I’d cleaned a couple of tiny marks up on my carpet in various places, but I was in a rush to do it and I didn’t read the cleaning solution instructions properly and when I got home that evening I discovered I’d bleached my gorgeous carpet … in places that were hard to hide!
Then my Mum came to stay with me for the weekend and we fell out. She decided to leave (totally over-reacting and leaving me feeling awful even though I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong) and the way things are in my family, arguments or disagreements are made into such huge, serious issues it’s all quite stressful.
So, the following morning after my Mum left, I woke up super early in the morning feeling a lot of anxiety about my business, my Mum, the carpets – it all seemed too much!
After some time feeling very sorry for myself, I decided to check my emails and by chance there was an email from a relationship coach I used to follow. I can’t remember what the title of the email was now, but for some reason it caught my attention and I decided to open it.
It was this email that turned everything upside down for me. It was all about lack versus abundance mindset but there was something in the way the author had written it that just gave me such a moment of clarity around the subject.
The light went on for me!
So much so that I’ve shared this email with many of my clients and friends. And even the lady who I shared this story with at the event asked if I’d send her the email!
So, I thought why not share it with you, my readers!
All positive mindsets come from one of abundance:
- Limitless possibility
- Abundant resources
- New orientation
All negative mindsets come from one of lack:
- Desperation (you feel you lack love, attention, etc.)
- Hostility (you feel you lack significance)
- Jealousy (you feel you lack love, significance)
- Materialism (you feel you lack significance)
- Intolerance (you feel you lack connection)
- Self-importance (you feel you lack significance)
- Anger (you feel you lack significance, or certainty)
- Blame (you feel lack of certainty)
Are you diligent and precise in checking your mindset? Be ruthless with assessing your mindset. Never take any action, from a negative mindset, or one of lack.
Whenever you feel bad, try to find the thought that produced the feeling. And assess whether it is a productive, resourceful or empowering thought for you, or is it angry, limiting and showing lack? Then change your mindset to one that is more helpful to you.
Have you considered it from a different angle? What have you learnt from the situation? Where is the silver lining? How will you use this experience to grow?
When you do this, you come from a positive mindset, one of UNDERSTANDING, TOLERANCE and GRATEFULNESS. You have created a NEW ORIENTATION.
One of the biggest secrets to living a happy life and achieving your goals is in making sure that every action you take is one done from a positive mindset.
Resourceful thinking produces resourceful actions, which produce positive results.
Why does it benefit you to do this?
When you associate the pleasure you receive from acting from a positive mindset and the pain you receive from acting from desperation, then you will see the value having a positive mindset will have in all aspects of your life.
The more you practice holding a positive mindset, the more it becomes a habit, and the sooner you will see positive changes in your life.
If you’re feeling stuck in a negative rut, here are some ways to change your state to a positive:
- Move – walk, stretch, exercise
- Eat well & properly
- Get out into nature, or at least the sunlight
- Sleep – take a nap or go to bed early
- Listen/sing/hum to an uplifting song or piece of music
- Change your physical position. If you’re standing up, lie down. If you’re sitting, do a handstand or other inversion. If you are lying down, get up
- Drink a glass of water (works well when you are angry to change your state)
- Watch a funny film or video clip
- Catch up with a close friend or family
- Treat yourself to something you don’t normally do
- Get a massage or form of physical therapy
- Take a shower or bath
- Listen to or read something that inspires you: audios/books/podcasts
- Talk to a positive friend/mentor/coach who can help you reframe the situation
Here’s another good way to change your mindset: Start giving. Give your time, your knowledge, your love, your energy, your creativity, your material things, and your money, anything you have. When you give to others, you take the focus off of yourself, putting you in a more resourceful state.
I hope this article was useful for you?
You may not have had the momentous ‘world-turned-upside-down’ feeling that I had when I first read this but even if it serves as a reminder to wait until you feel in a positive state to act, then that’s still something huge.
For one, it made me realise that I had a choice – that all I had to do was get myself back into a positive state, and that when I felt negative, that’s all it was – I’d slipped into a negative state. It also made me see how many people in my life spent most of their time in negativity and I saw the immensity of what that has meant for their overall experience of life.
They key here is that you will feel negative at times, that’s a natural part of the human experience (we can’t feel happy all the time), but in recognising you’re in a negative state, you realise it’s not ‘you’ – it’s exactly that, a state.
Also recognizing that you can and should wait until you’re in a more positive state before you act, make any decisions or assumptions is so important. You come to see that the real you, is the positive you.
Excerpts taken from original article by D.Shen of Shen Wade Media