Creating and maintaining new habits can be a real challenge for many of us. In my coaching practice, I often find that helping people to establish sustainable habits is just as important as helping them reach their goals. It’s about transforming these habits into part of their daily lives, so they stick around long after our work together is done.
Let’s start by understanding why forming new habits is tough. In my experience, there are two main reasons:
Being out of our comfort zone
Our subconscious minds, which dictate a large proportion of our behaviour, prefer the familiar and the comfortable. So, when we try something new, even if we know it’s beneficial, our subconscious perceives it as a threat to our comfort zone and resists the change. Just being aware of this resistance can help you anticipate and navigate it when it happens, rather than let it derail your efforts.
Being overly-ambitious
Another common reason people struggle to form new habits is because they set overly ambitious goals. Often, the initial motivation to change comes from frustration or dissatisfaction with some aspect of our lives. This leads to an all-or-nothing approach, like diving head first into a strict diet or intense exercise routine. While the enthusiasm is admirable, these extreme measures are rarely sustainable in the long run.
Dieting is a good example. Restrictive plans might yield short-term results, but they’re often unsustainable and can lead to feelings of failure and self-criticism when we inevitably fall off track. The same goes for gruelling exercise routines and other habits like intense early morning routines. It’s a cycle of highs and lows that ultimately undermines our confidence and wellbeing and doesn’t lead to long-term results and new ‘ways of being’.
It’s tragic really as most people blame themselves for failing. What we need to understand is that the plan or approach itself actually sets us up to fail!
Focus on realistic new habits
With the two reasons above in mind, this is why I really emphasise the importance of setting realistic goals with my clients for true, lasting change.
In my next post, I’ll share how we achieve this and ensure that the habits we cultivate are both effective and enduring. By understanding the hurdles and approaching habit formation with patience and pragmatism, we are more likely to achieve long-term change.
Kate x
