One of the most common themes that comes up in my work with clients, especially those working from home, is this: they can’t switch off.
Work doesn’t just stay within working hours; it bleeds into their evenings, weekends, and even their sleep.
In our fast-paced world of modern work, the boundaries between professional and personal life have become increasingly blurred. Add constant emails, deadlines, notifications, and always-on technology, and it’s no surprise that many people struggle to mentally disconnect from work.
Over time, and not surprisingly, this leads to living with some degree of chronic stress, potentially burnout, and a much lower quality of life than many people realise.
We all want to relax, enjoy time with friends and family, travel, focus on hobbies, or simply rest. Work shouldn’t take up so much mental space that it becomes hard to be present in your own life. But for many people, it does.
Why Disconnecting Isn’t a Luxury
For busy, driven people in demanding roles, fully switching off from work can start to feel like an indulgent luxury, simply because it’s so unfamiliar. But the ability to disconnect has a direct impact on your nervous system, stress levels, and overall wellbeing, because without proper rest and recovery, your nervous system remains in a heightened stress state.
This often shows up as that familiar feeling of being tired but wired where someone is exhausted, yet unable to properly relax. It’s a hallmark of chronic stress, which our bodies simply aren’t designed to handle long-term.
What makes this tricky though, is that this state doesn’t always feel obviously negative.You might feel productive, focused, engaged, even excited about your work. But even if you enjoy that state, living in it without recovery takes a toll on your body and mind over time.
Signs You’re Not Really Switching Off
Change always starts with awareness, so here are some common signs you may not be mentally disconnecting from work:
- Work is on your mind most of the time
- You struggle to fall asleep because you’re thinking about work
- You wake in the night and can’t switch your brain off
- Your work and personal boundaries feel blurred
- You check emails first thing in the morning or when you’re technically “off”
- You feel tired but wired
- You have tight shoulders, neck tension, or clench your jaw
- You feel hyper-focused and serious most of the time
- Others say you push yourself too hard, or that you’re working too much
If this happens occasionally during intense periods, that’s normal; the issue is when it becomes your everyday life.
Why It’s Not As Simple As “Just Stop Thinking About It”
Many people try to switch off by forcing it, and quickly realise it doesn’t work. That’s because stress fundamentally changes how your brain operates. When you’re wired on stress hormones, your brain scans for perceived threats or problems. During times of high stress and pressure, those threats are obvious: big deadlines, important meetings, a high-stakes presentation.
But even during everyday stress, your brain continues scanning in a more subtle way.
That’s why work thoughts pop up when you’re trying to relax or fall asleep. Your body is still in a stress state, and your brain is doing what it thinks is helpful: looking for problems to solve.
This is why stress management should always be the first step, because when your stress levels remain high, your brain will keep scanning, which we experience as rumination, worry, anxiety and an inability to switch off.
Practical Ways to Mentally Disconnect
1. Create an Evening “Shutdown” Routine: If you stay wired after work, you need a clear signal that the day is over.
This could be:
- A warm bath or shower
- Gentle stretching or yoga
- A short breathing practice
- A calming hobby
- A short walk
One client of mine used to lie on the floor for five minutes listening to a yin yoga body scan meditation with the lights low and no interruptions. That small ritual made a huge difference.
Consistency is also key here because over time, you’re teaching your nervous system that it’s safe to slow down, and it starts to anticipate the routine.
2. Use Your Lunch Break as a Reset: Many people rush through lunch without stepping away from their desk, but your lunch break can be a powerful nervous system reset. Get outside. Go for a walk. Sit somewhere quiet and read. Listen to something non-work-related. Or just sit in peace for a few minutes.
This kind of midday pause improves focus and energy, and crucially, helps to reduce the build-up of stress across the day.
3. Write the Thoughts Down: When your mind is looping, journaling can be incredibly effective because you’re not trying to forget or distract yourself from your thoughts; you’re acknowledging them. This allows the brain to temporarily release them because it knows they’ve been captured.
Journaling before bed or first thing in the morning can be especially helpful for sleep and stress.
4. Create Clear Start and End Rituals: Physically leaving work doesn’t guarantee mental distance, especially with phones and remote working. One of my favourite tools is what I call a “fictional commute.”
If you work from home:
- Take a short walk before starting work (even five minutes)
- Take another walk at the end of the day
It creates a psychological boundary.
5. Other simple but helpful rituals:
- Changing clothes after work
- Setting clear, realistic work hours and sticking to them
- Packing away your laptop and notebooks at the end of the day
Interestingly, many people work more from home, not less, because they have to enforce their own boundaries, and that’s typically harder than relying on external ones. So, this is where routines and rituals are really important because they help you create that structure.
Final Thought
For passionate, driven people, fully switching off can feel like you’re not committed or care less. But this isn’t about lowering standards, it’s about protecting your wellbeing, your health, and your personal life, and giving your body and mind the recovery they need to function well.
When you disconnect properly, you don’t perform worse; you perform better. And you safeguard your health and wellbeing for the long term.
Kate x
If this resonates, you can listen to the full podcast episode of Busy Doing Well on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, and if you know someone who struggles to switch off from work, share this with them.
